Recovering from Anxiety

Night Anxiety ~ Another Opportunity to Improve

A week and a half ago, my husband had to work in the middle of the night and I had a small victory in that I wasn’t immediately jolted with fear at the thought of being alone. The night was positive overall, but I still couldn’t sleep. I watched movies and browsed the web until 5:30, when I finally fell asleep on the couch.

Well, here we are again and he has to leave the house while I’m sleeping. I have no idea how it will go. I’m planning to go to bed around 10pm, and I’m just hoping I sleep for at least a few hours. I WILL have to get up to pee at some point (last night it was at 12:15 and 4am) because of my head-down baby pushing on my bladder (!) but it would be lovely if it was later rather than sooner, because as I soon as I wake up, I’m going to be up.

I feel good emotionally. I don’t feel afraid of him leaving, though I would definitely still prefer that he be home, so that’s certainly progress! Eventually I want to be able to stay in bed and fall back to sleep, but I think it’s probably not likely to happen until I am smothered in newborn cuddles, staying up all hours of the night with baby Elizabeth! THEN I will need, more than anything, to sleep. Haha

Tomorrow, I will come back to update this post about how the night went. Blogging is truly helping me and I am so thankful.

♦ ♦ ♦

Update

Last night had it’s pros and cons…more cons than pros, I think, but that’s okay – I’m learning! First con of the night was that I could not even fall asleep while Stephen was home. This really bummed me out. I tried from 10:30 until 12:00 but was completely unsuccessful. And what was keeping me up? Basically, unrelated thoughts…my mind was running on anything and everything. They weren’t even anxious thoughts! I was thinking about what I might purchase on Etsy, what sewing projects I’m currently working on, how I think my labor and delivery are going to go…you name it! :P So, I got up at 12:20 and Stephen was equally bummed to see that he was the cause of my not being able to sleep. I hated that but I also wanted to say goodbye. The actual sitting up part wasn’t stressful; I didn’t experience any anxiety or fear (success!) but I was completely spent. Oh my word. So tired. I watched Seventh Heaven, browsed Etsy, and spent some time planning future blog posts. I was at the end of my sleepy rope by 2am but Elizabeth was SO active that I couldn’t even think about falling asleep! It was crazy – she was kicking and pushing (owwie on the cervix!) so much that I honestly sat there wondering how long the amniotic sac could take it and would she literally break my water! Yeah, wow. And so, I fell asleep at 3:30. Again, like I said, it was okay – not terrible – but not fun either.

2 thoughts on “Night Anxiety ~ Another Opportunity to Improve”

  1. I can totally understand the anxiety that comes with having your husband gone. My husband was a police officer and on top of that, a Gang Unit Investigator. It sounds like stuff out of movies, but we seriously had threats against us, people following him home, and even people that recognized me out in public even if he wasn’t with me. Add to that the fact that as a Gang Investigator, he was called in quite a bit in the middle of the night, and it gets pretty scary. But what saved me from the fears and anxiety is that my husband was constantly updating me, and on a regular basis he trained me and gave me tools to be prepared. I’ve heard the term “those prepared are usually spared”. That is so true! He taught me what to look for as far as suspicious activity or how to identify a threat. He taught me how to use a gun, and the procedure to go through as far as when to call the cops, or when to confront someone, or when to take things into my own hands. I know not everyone is comfortable with a gun, and your night anxiety probably has nothing to do with gangs, but my main point was preparing yourself so that when you do have those anxieties, you remind yourself that you can handle it! I know that I overcame massive bouts of anxiety while he was policing just by being confident in the fact that I could handle whatever it was that I was worried about!

    I hope your night went well…waiting to read your update and praying everything was great!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the encouragement and you’re so right – being prepared for situations (no matter what kind they are) definitely helps us cope better. While our family doesn’t have guns (unless you count Joshua’s BB gun, lol) I understand why someone would. You are a tough cookie!! I can’t imagine my husband working in a dangerous field – GANGS?! Yikes. ((hugs)) to you, girl!

      Liked by 1 person

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