Thoughts & Happenings 03/29/17

living lighter thoughts

The line was slightly darker this morning. Top one was from yesterday, bottom one was today. Weird. I know that it could fade over time, but the top test looked the same yesterday as it does today.

Warning, rambling post ahead…

I’m sure if I was in fact miscarrying on Sunday and Monday that it will take time for the hormones to lower. These HPTs can pick up a very small amount so it’s reasonable to assume that it’s showing leftover hormones. But it’s strange that there seems to be more this morning. ???

And (just thinking out loud here), why did I have a normal period first, on the 11th? My body just being confused?!

TMI – the last time I was intimate was several days before the 11th. It’s the 29th now, so say I conceived on the sixth…that was over three weeks ago…how far along would I be? Pregnancy symptoms didn’t start until the 23rd, when I’d already had a “period.” My last period before that was in late January so I don’t know when I ovulated in March at all! lol

Okay, last thing. I have had miscarriages before and they caused some of the worst pain I’ve ever had in my life. 😒 These days of bleeding I’ve had in the last two weeks didn’t hurt like that.

Perhaps it’s just a blessing that I had no pain. I’ll probably find out soon that everything’s over and I am no longer pregnant. If that’s the case, I’m glad I hadn’t known about the pregnancy and THEN had all this bleeding – I’ve done that and it’s heartbreaking.

Or, I will find out that I am still pregnant and…oh goodness, that’s a weird thought.

I have an appointment tomorrow.

Please pray for me, if you feel so inclined. ❀

*Update: Test Results (how it all ended)*

39 thoughts on “Thoughts & Happenings 03/29/17

    1. I’m not sure, lol. I will be happy if I am and relieved if I’m not. :P The c-section has left me feeling less enthusiastic about the end of pregnancy! But yes, thank you for praying. πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

    1. The darker line is a good (albeit strange) sign if one is wanting to be pregnant. I am not even sure what I want! I will be happy if I am but relieved if I’m not. The whole cesarean thing takes away some of the fun, lol.
      Thank you! πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I will be praying! I miscarried in June and had only known I was pregnant for 1 week when I started bleeding, but the lines did get more faint as I took more tests. I just tried to ignore that. I’m going to pray that you’re still pregnant with a surprise blessing. (Sorry I hadn’t read your other posts before now. It’s revival this week and I slacked off and missed your very important posts!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!
      I’m sorry, even knowing for a short time is still so hard. I only knew for two days before having my first miscarriage and I was devastated. :'(
      Did you test within a few days of bleeding?


      1. No. I tested right at my missed period and didn’t bleed until a week later. I always have low progesterone so I had an appointment that day to go check my progesterone and probably get a prescription. But then I woke up bleeding. Thankfully we had already ‘announced’ the pregnancy to just my immediate family. So I was able to call my parents and have them watch our two boys while my husband took me to the appointment. We had planned to take them with us and make it a fun day after the appointment. :'(

        I had, however, felt like the pregnancy was different than my first two, and assumed it was probably a girl–which had thrilled my heart! For that reason, we still kind of imagine that baby as a girl, but now I’m sure it just felt different because something was wrong.

        Praying for you today as you go to your appointment!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree that the test shouldn’t get darker if you’ve already misscarried. I bled early on during all of my pregnancies. The reasons were subchorionic bleeds, or at least we assume they were. I’m sure your doctor will at least check your hcg a couple of times. If the first one came back very low, and your symptoms disappeared they might say miscarriage, but if it’s in a normal early pregnancy range I would bet they’d do another a couple of days later to see it double. Are you still having symptoms of pregnancy? I know it’s tough to know when we’re breastfeeding. I tested last week, and yesterday because I was sensitive while feeding, and have felt off, but no second line for me yet.
    I have prayed for you, and will be looking for your update.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry you have had bleeding every time, it’s so scary! Hmm, maybe SCH is the cause, but if so it’d be a first for me. I never have bleeding unless I’m miscarrying. :/ But it *has* been only nine months since I had my first cesarean…maybe that has to do with it? I have an unhappy uterus? lol
      Yes, I still have the pregnancy symptoms.
      Oh, wow! Well, I hope you get the result you want! :)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. When I got my first positive test with my last pregnancy, bleeding was the main reason I tested.πŸ˜‰ I’m used to it, and if I was pregnant without bleeding early on, it would probably stress me out more.
        It could very well be the changes in your uterus. Hmmm.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Praying for you! Hope your appointment went ok. With my second pregnancy, I actually had a bad hemorrhage and thought I miscarried…even the nurses thought so too, until the ultrasound showed my twins were fine. I was put on bedrest for awhile though. It’s such a stressful time…thinking of you and hoping for the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ❀
      Ugh, bleeding is stressful because we usually think it indicates a problem, especially in pregnancy. I’m hopeful that it’s just my body being weird because of the c-section.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Keeping everything crossed for you Valerie; as with the ladies above; my tests always got fainter and not stronger when I miscarried so this hopefully is a very good sign. I know impossible to do but try to relax and I’ll be checking in soon. Sending as much baby dust as I can and good luck. xxx


    1. Thank you, but it actually was a miscarriage. :( I found out last Wednesday that my hcg levels are dropping, just slowly. I don’t know why the tests got darker. :/
      Thank you for your kind words, though. πŸ’•


      1. Oh valerie I’m so so sorry to hear this and my heart felt sympathies go out to you and your family. I can totally understand what you’re going through as we went through this several times. Stay strong and let your body and your mind heal. xx

        Liked by 1 person

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